What does God have planned for us? Whatever it is, it is GOOD. But, am I willing to wait? Is Cal? Is Ariana? Or is Ella willing to wait? How about you? Waiting is so hard, but so worth it. As I look back at the past 3 years, sometimes I feel like all we've done is wait. Wait to see if Ella would be born....wait to see if I would live through the chances of infection....wait to see if Ella would live more than a day....wait to see if she could ever come home...wait to see if she would ever learn to eat....or if she'd have any vision...or if she'd learn to crawl...or ever be out of her three body-casts at age 6 months...wait to see if the clot in her heart would shrink...or if God wanted us in Peru...or if God wanted us back home to care for Ella...wait for Ella's 4th cast to come off and 5th to be put on...wait to find out if Ella has Cerebral Palsy....or wait to find out where God wants our family to "be" here in the States....or in what job??? God has answered some of our waiting questions only to then wait again on something new. So, are we doomed to spend our entire lives waiting? But maybe we're not really waiting. Maybe we only think we're waiting because we haven't found what we think we're looking for. But what are we looking for? If it's God's will that we're in search of, then only He will know how to get there. And if only He knows, then why don't we fix our faces on Him and take one day at a time and know that since we're not somewhere different, we're right where He wants us at that moment!
Now, I know that there are other times that we haven't moved from the spot that we're in because we're content there and God has asked us to move and has an open door waiting for us, but in fear or because we like where we are, we stay...that is different. That is not waiting. But if we are seeking His will with all of our might and no doors are opening in a direction of change and no doors are closing where you are currently, then why can't we be content to stand still. It's like we're all in the waiting room at the doctor's office. Names keep getting called one by one, and maybe people are even getting called that arrived AFTER you did, but yours is not called. Do we get mad and impatient or can we just sit for a moment and think, "hmmm, maybe there's a reason He has us here.....waiting."
You know, I've found that many times it's in my times of waiting that God has molded me, shaped me and used me the most. If we're already where we think we're supposed to be then maybe, just maybe we quit looking for where it is that He wants us to be. And if we're not looking, how many opportunities to share Christ with others do we miss out on? It may be that time in the waiting room that we meet someone passing by that is completely lost and are able to help them get where they need to be. Maybe they haven't even checked in yet (met Jesus) and you are there right at the perfect time because you weren't too busy moving yourself to the check-up room, so that you can help them make the first step to finding out where God wants them to be - by first, getting them signed in! If you weren't there, in that time of waiting, that person could still be out wandering and lost, all alone!!
I don't know about you, but for me, I'd much rather be waiting than lost! Because when you're lost, you don't even know where the food is. Or water or protection, etc... Or if you're lost in the midst of a great sea or even a swimming pool, you don't even know where the edge is to hold on for dear life!! But in contrast, when you're waiting, many times it's in comfort. I think of the lounges that we wait in when we get our car serviced. It seems there's always bottled water, coffee and even a piece of fruit to chew on while we wait. When we have already been "checked in" (saved by Jesus Christ), we are no longer lost. In our moments of unclear direction, we are waiting, but we are waiting in the comfort of His loving, capable arms. He will not let us drown or die. He is waiting for the opportune moment to bless our socks off. Even as I waited in pain (both physical and emotional) at the hospital when my water broke 5 months early when I was pregnant with Ella, I was in His comfort!
Right now, I feel like Calvin and I are in the waiting room of our lives. We don't even know what we're waiting for, but it's GOOD, I'll tell you that much. It's going to be awesome as God's plan for our lives unravels. I can't wait to see what it is. You know, it was just last night that we were out with some dear friends and they were telling us about their precious kids. One of their boys said something like this to his mom as she was laying with him in bed and he was gazing around the room, "I am looking at the angels right now." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another time at the park, he slipped while climbing a ladder and when his mom asked if he was ok his reply went something like this, "I'm ok, that man caught me." Alarmed, she asked who he was talking about because there was no "man" in sight. He replied, "It was Jesus. He takes care of me." Looking at my own kids, there are so many times I KNOW they have been caught by an angel or that the food lodged in their throat was loosened by Jesus because He loves us THAT much. He is THAT awesome. He is THAT real and THAT present in our lives! If we invite Him in, He is there. And it doesn't matter if we're waiting...He is still there. Just because we're waiting does NOT mean that He is not present!!!
It might be that it is in this time of waiting, that our family will be paused long enough to feel His hand guiding us or His angels catching us when we misplace our feet and it is THAT confidence that He is building in us to rely on Him and to know He will be there to catch us that is preparing us for the next open door. Will it be an amazing job that pays enough to hi-light my hair and get my nails done..........wow, that would be cool. :) Or is it another ministry that He is paving the way for as we speak? Or maybe He'll open the door to adopting some more children?? We don't know, but we can rest in His love, in His mercy and His protection as we wait. I sure don't want to mis-read today as a day of dreaded waiting when it could be His plan for today that I sense His near presence - even His hand on my back as He leads, or that He puts just the right person in my life that will lead to the next open door, OR that He will put someone in my path today that will lead to their salvation!!! I don't want to miss it! It is my deep prayer that God will take away my feeling of waiting and replace it with a feeling of contentment and that I will be a tool that He can use in my time of "waiting".
I think any time we have a sense of waiting, it is a beautiful opportunity for God to mold some character into us. Instead of being mad and "brittle", we need to be content and "soft" so that He can work with us and sculpt us into an amazing masterpiece.
These verses have helped me through many times of waiting and hardship:
1 Thess 5:16-18
"Always be joyful. Pray continually and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus."
2 Tim 2:10
"So I patiently accept all these troubles so that those whom God has chosen can have the salvation that is in Christ Jesus. With that salvation comes glory that never ends."
And here are some verses that are an encouragement to do it:
Isaiah 30:18
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"
Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
Psalm 30:1-3
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."
Hebrews 10:35-39
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
James 5:11
"As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered."
James 1:2-4
"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Luke 8:15
"But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."
And the one that tells us how to do it:
Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
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